My dad was a man of contradictions as well. Outgoing, funny, engaged when holding a cocktail in his hand and surrounded by adults who he didn’t have to take care of. Quiet, distant and almost unapproachable when life and work and children were all demanding something of him. Not that he was unwilling to provide it; he just couldn’t make it past the internal challenges and insecurities that tormented him. Often sick (heart issues) and tired, from an endless commute to New York City, you could see in his eyes, a genuine desire to be the dad that I wanted him to be and the sadness that appeared when he couldn’t seem to make it happen. I loved him, never understood him, missed him when he died young and have spent the last 50 years piecing together the man he was. Someday I hope to put it all together and have him with me again.