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Besides not doing them
A resolution is a decision, a ruling. So, think of yourself seated on a bench (any bench) and banging down that gavel while decreeing that you will finally meet the woman of your dreams. A fine lass that ticks off all 37 boxes that you have compiled over the past 14 years.
Now, bang that same gavel across your forehead. This will get the pain, frustration and loss of confidence out of the way, so the rest of the year has some chance of being productive.
Resolutions are as effective as an aneurysm in organizing one’s thoughts toward a more favorable future. They don’t work. Why would a decision, made while consuming mass quantities of alcohol and pizza rolls be any more effective than the ones made during moments of quiet reflection as you do squats at the gym? What psychic powers are gifted to us over the first 24 hours of a new year, that enable us to set aside an endless array of excuses for not achieving something that we supposedly really, really want?
Look, New Year’s resolutions don’t work because you already have 28 years’ worth of them lined up in your head, like Boeing 737s taxiing for takeoff at LAX. Each one takes time, effort, and a level of dedication that simply cannot be collectively sustained over time. But they are still there, like ghosts of Decisions…
